May Newsletter - Laura in India

"The Baggage of 5:00pm"

I have an irritation.
A pet-peeve, if you will.
Something that has bugged me for years, and for no particular reason,
Other than it just annoys me.
5:00pm.
That's right.
5 o'clock in the evening.
I can't stand it.
This abhorrence may stem from years of activities that kept me busy during precious days where one learns to live in harmony with all o'clocks: volleyball practices, rowing practices, summer camp, afternoon work shifts and such. Due to these, I've never had to face the irritable qualities of 5pm, thus leaving a bitter taste for the time.
For starters, is it late-afternoon, or early evening? It can't decide for itself. Then, should you suffer through the goosebumps of a cool 5pm, or put on a jacket, risking a sweatiness that will surely chill you by 6pm?
And to top it all off, the day's closure is making for a darkened room. You're sitting in this funky-semi-sunlit-space. You want to turn a light on. So you do. But, what is this? The light doesn't do squat. Your room is still funky-semi-sunlit, but now with a glowing corner where your lamp is pathetically trying to have an effect. Then you check your watch. Ah. It's 5pm. That's right. At 5pm, it's not dark enough to turn a cozy lamp on, but outside light won't penetrate past the curtains.
Hmmph. 5pm. Can't live with it; surely, can't live without it. To say I've been suffering anxiety attacks at 4:59pm would be a bit of an exaggeration. But, I have been fully aware of the weight of the baggage I brought to India, having packed both the concentrated past, and the futility of personal pet-peeves. As much as I hoped, nothing got lost along the way; it all arrived; everything is here. Even 5pm.
But, to my surprise, India has given me more than a place to put the luggage down. It gave me a time change. At 5pm, everything comes alive for our 'neighborhood'. I spend this time with my friends of the assisted living facility. By 5pm, afternoon naps are finished, our tea has been drunk, and we are ready for fresh air and fresh faces. Everyone is ready for the 5pm socialization hour:
There's Dr. Mani and his wife, Ann. Dr. Mani is a retired Physics professor, originally from Kerala, but lived in North Carolina for almost 40 years, teaching at a local university. When Alzheimer's became a reality for Ann, Dr. Mani opted for the less costly health care India could provide. Dr. Mani and Ann made their voyage back to Kerala, where he has been her primary care taker. With the help of their home nurse, Banu, I watch each day as Dr. Mani's courage, love, persistence, sense of humor and wonderful smile never diminish.
After we drink tea, Banu and I sit with Ann, and Dr. Mani takes his walk. When I see his Nike's laced on, and the leather sandals on the door step, I know it's 5pm.
There's Maya Ammachi and her daughter, Susan. Maya and her father were freedom fighters with Gandhi. She's closing in on 92, and due to a fall last year, she's finding it harder to recall names and places.
Our conversations may start with a story, but a few sentences in, she'll be clouded with a strange look, and then with a wave of her hand say, "Gone...Forgot." And while we chuckle together at what might have been a great story, Maya lets her two front teeth shine from the guard of her lips. One such interaction:

Maya: I saw your friend the other day.
Laura: Oh, who was that?
M: She was looking...very bad.
L: Oh my. That can't be good.
M: No. It wasn't. She was doing quite bad. Your friend...(trying to
find the name)
L: Kat? Beth?
M: No. Your friend...
L: Uhhh...Rob?
M: No. Your friend, that's a girl....
L: Uhhh...my mother?
M: (clearly frustrated) No. That one friend. Obama's friend.
L: Uhhh...Hilllllary Clinnnton?
M: Yes! That's the one! Your friend Hillary. I saw her in the paper.
L: Oh good! My friend Hillary. How is she?
M: She's not doing well against that Obama fellow.
L: I'll have to talk with my friend, Hillary.

And, the chuckling begins.
When I see Maya Ammachi on her porch chair, her smile perching, and waiting to chat about politics and my friends Obama and Hillary, I know it's 5pm.
When I see Thomas Appachen watering his flowers; when I hear Bavakutty Kochamma's contagious laughter; when I hear the home nurses teasing one another and singing songs, I know it's 5pm.
And I couldn't be more excited.
That which irritated before, is what I anticipate and look forward to each day.
For, 5pm has been transformed.
My prejudices, my judgments, my apparent understandings of myself have been flipped, flopped, and forgone. It's as though India has allowed me to leave this luggage whirling around the baggage claim. And so I must ask myself, what other baggage is it time to let go of?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28.