“Question Reality”
This was a beloved phrase to my best friend and college roommate, Angie, and it has been floating through my mind often during the past month. Just like beauty, I think reality is truly in the eye of the beholder. “Reality” is relative. My current reality is different than yours, than the children at my work sites, and even the other volunteers. My reality is my own combination of background, beliefs, attitude, personality and experiences.
While sometimes longing for the reality I left behind in the States, I’ve been reconstructing my own reality here in Cuernavaca. Each day is a new adventure and I am finding that Cuernavaca is often a contradiction, and almost always different than what I expected. I am learning to toss my expectations out the window. They simply aren’t realistic.
Daily Reality:
7:15 or a little after Wake up, get ready for day. Marce is waiting for me downstairs with fresh squeezed OJ and a bowl of fruit, yogurt and granola
Around 8:15 Leave the house, sometimes walking to La Estación (mostly uphill, past the zocalo and the people’s market, always to long stares and the occasional “güera” cat calls.
Sometime after 9 Arrive at La Estación and stand at the front door and greet mothers and children. I normally wait to start “teaching” until a decent showing of the students have made their way to class after the (almost free) breakfast at the community center across the street. Sometimes this happens by about 9:15, other days around 9:30.
I teach three classes of English before recess. The kids are 3, 4 and 5 years old. We stretch, sing and have our lesson in a half an hour (more or less) for each one.
Recess starts whenever the teachers want and ends whenever the teachers want. Normally, it starts sometime around 10:30 and lasts from about thirty minutes to an hour. Hey, no rush right? Students can buy cheap snacks and drinks and eat during this time. If I am feeling energetic and excited, I often become the “tickle monster” which the kids can’t get enough of.
After recess I teach two more classes, which can be tricky on the days that it lasts a bit longer. Additionally, many parents show up a bit early to pick up the kids and I immediately lose their attention.
After 12 Walk home or take the ruta (bus)
Middle of the day I avoid the powerful sunlight and enjoy some conversation with Marcelina over comida (the big meal of the day). We talk about everything: cooking, relationships, religion, politics, family values, neighborhood gossip, our histories, and the current crises of our world. Never a dull moment when we get going and I often lose track of time. She is inspiring and never ceases to amaze me and push me to think differently.
3ish Head downtown near the zocalo to my second job at Casa Tatic. After arriving, I normally accompany the other teachers to pick up the kids. We either go to the kids’ houses or we go to the artisan market in the zocalo (I just noticed that many kids set up little forts or casitas under the artisan tables, hidden by the blankets). Back at Casa Tatic we launch into the daily routine: wash hands, play a quick game, sing a few songs, line up and go to eat comida and desserts, brush teeth, then play games. Without exception, I am asked to spin the kids around in a hammer-throw type fashion or pick them up upside down and tickle them. Right before leaving, we wet and brush their hair so they go home guapos (good looking). The girls especially love to brush my hair in return, which has turned into a fun and sometimes painful tradition.
Around 6ish until I’m tired Head back home, maybe make a couple errands on the way. On Mondays I go to Base Christian Community group with Marcelina at the church a couple blocks away. Mostly we get the older women of the community together to discuss the reality of the world today, what is wrong, why it became that way, and what we can do about it. During the rest of the week, it is a light dinner and some tea along with more conversations with Marce (and sometimes Sarah comes over too).
The Reality of Time
As you might have noticed, my daily schedule is… flexible. Mexico operates on a mutual understanding of time. A 2:00 lunch date doesn’t really mean 2:00 lunch. No rush, no worries. “Fashionably late” is not a phrase here and would never make sense culturally. “Mexican time” quickly became a refreshing habit but I am sometimes struggling to curb my American mentality of “go-go-go” and dependence on punctuality. The best method to preserve my sanity is to just go with the flow and abandon my “to-do list” for the day. If you've met me, you will probably wonder how I'm adjusting... Ahorita, I'll get used to it, ahorita.
The Reality of Surrender
I’m giving in to many things and learning to be live constantly with surrendering to the onda (vibe/flow) of life here. Often, by cause of language misunderstanding or simply lack of information, I find myself following coworkers, friends or families without totally understanding what we are doing or where we are going or how long we’ll be doing it. Each day is an adventure and I never exactly know where I’m going to end up or with whom. For example, at a fiesta at nearby Cuentepec we ended up joining a funeral procession to the cemetery (to put a cross at the grave site of a man that died a year before), then being invited to eat homemade mole at three women’s houses before heading home. What a cool experience. Thanks to the welcoming invitations to partake in intimate family gatherings, I am seeing a new side of Mexico.
I’m also learning to surrender in other ways. After three weeks, I finally made myself a meal and I just learned how to use Marce's washing machine to wash my clothes. Marce takes good care of me, but it is a difficult transition to give up my control on my own life. It is a sometimes difficult change to go from doing everything while living on my own to doing almost nothing for myself now. Marce and I are finding a middle ground and I am finding out that this is a transition for her too – I am the first (of 4?) foreign home stay students that wanted to actively be a part of household duties and cooking. No wonder it has taken some time for adjustment!
The Reality of Camping
Cuernavaca is surrounded by beautiful mountain scenery. When Sarah and I were invited to go camping with Jenn’s host-family we thought, “Sounds great, ¿no? A chance to get in touch with nature.” Well, we were mistaken. We went to a friend of the family’s star-fruit farm. We toured the grounds, tasted fresh fruits from the tree, and then enjoyed some covivencia with the families. So far, a great time, but it got dark and we hadn’t set up our tents – wait a minute. We ended up setting them up in the star-fruit warehouse with the help of overhead lights. I thought we were going to drag them outside, but once again, we were mistaken. We slept on the concrete floor inside the warehouse. “Camping” became another lesson in letting go of expectations and surrendering to an unexpected reality.
The Reality of Observation
Our first task in approaching
Another people
Another culture
Another religion
Is to take off our shoes
For the place we are approaching is holy.
Else we may find ourselves treading on another’s dreams
-Unknown
My host mom is an active member in a Base Christian Community group and most groups (including hers) use a liberation theology method of approaching their reflections. It is a series of five steps:
I am intentionally keeping myself in the first stage, observar, and watching carefully those around me. What I am experiencing here is very different from my reality growing up but I am trying to remember to be respectful and cautious in my reactions. The reality of my background is no better nor worse than theirs, it is just different, and I am starting to appreciate all that these differences have to offer. Observar. There is a lot one can learn from stopping, watching and listening. I am learning to imitate, I am learning patience, I am learning gratitude, I am learning some ways to bend my reality to fit the one I encounter here. I have taken off my shoes, and I am walking as gracefully as I can over holy ground.
The Reality of Photos
To see photos of Mexico, go to the site
http://picasaweb.google.com/klgavle
The Reality of News
To read more about my day-to-day and weekend experiences (instead of some of the emotional and cultural processing of newsletters), visit my new blog at
http://klgavlemexico.blogspot.com
Current posts include the pachanga (big fiesta), camping, and useful Mexican-Spanish.
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