Ministry of Presence
Cuernavaca, Mexico Newsletter
October 2007
By Katie
On a fairly regular basis, dare I say daily basis, Marcelina and I start to talk about religion and it is not uncommon that she whips out her worn Bible Study book with the weekly readings and questions. She finds great joy in reading me the verses that they used in group and asking me for my perspective. She follows her Base Christian Community model like an old veteran and it makes me smile every time. We discuss how the reading relates to our own lives, what parts catch our attention, and what we think it is calling us to do or change in our life and how we live. Despite the years between us, the vastly different histories of our lives, the language and cultural differences, and the different realities we currently have while living under the same roof, we are coming to many similar conclusions and are finding many shared perspectives among the differences. Well, a few weeks ago Marce read me one of her Bible Study passages from Luke 17: 7-10
7 Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to eat?' 8Would he not rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink?' 9Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? 10So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ' We are unworthy servants, we have only done our duty.'
She looked up from her Bible Study book with a knowing smile on her face and asked me, “Who are the servants?” It didn't take long for me to say, “We are.” Then she asked me, “What is it the duty that we have to do?” and I responded, “whatever we can, little or big, to try to serve others.” I find truth in that calling, regardless of one’s religious beliefs. It calls us to be good to others, a task that crosses over any religious, cultural, or linguistic border. However, it is taking me a long time to try to wrap my mind around the ways to live into that mentality of a calling to unworthy servitude. That we give whatever we have to those we meet on our life journey because it is our duty and not because we feel proud or because we receive credit for our act of generosity.
I remember reading one time about someone who gave greatly to the children's ward in some hospital. Donations of toys and money was given to fund experiences or trips that would create fond, life-long memories. The children, the families, and the hospital workers were all incredibly moved and grateful for these beautiful acts of kindness. To me, the most interesting part of the story is that the person donated everything anonymously and received no credit, praise, or recognition for what he or she did. In my mind, this is the true definition of giving selflessly. Since reading that story years ago, I have yet to live into that ability of doing something good for someone else and not wanting even a small piece of credit or praise for my good deed.
I am moved and in awe of the constant support, encouragement, and genuine interest of my friends, family and my community at Bethany Lutheran Church. I have also been quite moved by the spirit of giving here in Mexico. In both cases, I find so much joy and I see more generosity in what some might call “small” gifts because it is all that there is to offer and the “small” gifts that are often given freely and willingly without the slightest expectation of gratitude in return.
Marce says that she is not a very loving woman and I whole-heartedly disagree. She doesn't show her affection with words, she shows her love through sharing her time, her food, her table and her conversation. During lunchtime, no interruption is considered unwelcome – it is seen as an opportunity to invite another to our table. She is always willing to sit and listen and spend time conversing with others regardless of the topic or her previously made plans. She is receptive to my feelings and is quick to be an extra fighter in my corner or simply a listening ear and comforting smile. She has a gift for giving her time and her company and I love coming home to spend time with her.
My friend Sarah works in some indigenous villages near Cuernavaca and has shared with me some of her reflections on other cultural differences in giving. One time she was asked, “How do people in the United States give to others in times of celebration or in times of sorrow? What do they do?” After thinking about this she diplomatically and truthfully answered the question with examples that resonated in my own experiences. She said, “Well, I can't speak for the entire country but I have seen that some people often send a card, send flowers, bring over a casserole, or make a phone call hoping to catch the answering machine.” Hmmm. We seem to find the quick and easy answers that don't require changes in our schedule or lifestyle.
Although the women in the indigenous villages don't have the money to buy cards or flowers and they may not have phones to call others, they give their time. They are present with others in times of joy and in times of grief. They provide an extra pair of hands to help prepare meals, they provide ears to listen, they provide shoulders to cry on, and they provide warm hearts to celebrate or grieve with others. It makes me think of a quote from a book by Henri Nouwen:
Our humanity comes to its fullest bloom in giving. We become beautiful people when we give whatever we can give: a smile, a handshake, a kiss, an embrace, a word of love, a present, a part of our life... all of our life.
It may not seem like much, but isn't time and presence one of the greatest gifts that we have to offer? What is worth more than offering all we have to give, ourselves, in any given moment? And what is more beautiful than giving it out of the joy and love of serving the needs of another person?
I am a missionary. What a scary and fully-loaded word. I envision rigid and devout Christians sent to the corners of this earth to try to convert the savage, loin-cloth ridden pagans while completely ignoring and trampling upon the “holy ground” of that culture’s beliefs, customs, and lifestyles. Oh man, I want none of that. I am a missionary and I am serving under a model of “ministry of presence.” We aren’t here to preach the Gospel; we aren’t here to convert the masses… we are here to be here. We are here to live among these people in solidarity. We are here to meet the needs that they ask us to meet, not the needs that our own eyes see. We are here to be present, and give ourselves to these communities and relationships. And, what better gift than that?
I am a missionary and I am completely awkward. I have redefined my expectations for doing my job, and redefined my goals for doing it well. I often fumble my way through cultural norms trying to tiptoe cautiously over this “holy ground” and I undoubtedly screw up more often that I even realize. I am still figuring out when or how to culturally-appropriately turn down invitations (or if that is even possible). I am the strange güera that plays soccer in Tepotzlan. I am the foreigner in Marce’s house that helps her sell the sausage in our fridge whenever she isn’t around. I am doing what I can and doing it the best I can, and most importantly, learning humility in my inability to do things as well as I have always expected of myself. I am celebrating my strengths but I am also acknowledging and living into my weaknesses. Above all, I am being here and opening up to all that Cuernavaca is offering me.
I have been called to try to do what I am asked, and do it as well as I can. I have been called to be present with an open heart and open eyes. Through my experiences at home and here, I am learning that sometimes the gift of presence is the greatest and only real gift we can offer.
I thank all of you for the gifts that you give me. Both now and before I left, so many of you have shared part of yourself with me: some money in exchange for a puny hosta plant, an attentive ear, a hug, encouraging words, a prayer, or sometimes just the knowledge that you are with me in body or spirit. Thank you.
Peace with all of you and take care,
Katie
“Hago solo lo que tengo que hacer, y trato a hacerlo bien hecho.”
(I only do what I have to do, and try to do it well)
- Ana Guevara -
To read about my adventures and reflections, check out my blog at: http://klgavlemexico.blogspot.com/
To see photos of Mexico, go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/klgavle
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